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By seeoats, June 17, 2010 10:06 am

First round of group play wrapped up in horny South Africa with a mix of the expected, the predictable and the surprising. The expected included dominance from Germany and Holland, the predictable was a trademark Cristiano Ronaldo dive for Portugal and the surprises came in the form of upsets. Switzerland provided a bombshell with a gritty defensive performance versus favored Spain, while Ghana defeated Serbia to provide the only victory for the host continent. Argentina hammered 20 shots in a 1-0 win while the ever-efficient Japanese needed just 3 shots to win by the same. A number of teams slumbered to a slow start, with African squads leading the way of the hapless by scoring just two goals (one a PK) in 6 matches. Brazil disappointed despite winning and although Portugal and Italy avoided losses, they were as flat as 2 day old soda.

Team America drew versus England thanks to the heroics of keeper Tim Howard and the tomfoolery of his Limey counterpart. Slovenia jumped to the front of the group, upping the ante ahead of the Friday match-up with Team America.

Tournament officials passed on the opportunity to ban the vu-vu horns, something I was indifferent about until I woke with the noise in my head at 3am- in bed with no television. The other casualty of the din is the noise of the crowd. Even though the foreign lyrics are unintelligible, the rhythmic chants and songs add more ambiance than the steady buzz of the horns. Looks like we’re stuck with the most annoying background since the death of the sitcom laugh-track. Someone needs to tell FIFA that these aren’t the drones they’re looking for.

Click to see Ronaldo catching some tripwire

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By Steve, June 11, 2010 5:51 pm

After the first day of the 2010 World Cup and all the pomp and circumstance, there was nothing that sorted out the direction that Group A will take with both games ending in draws. Uruguay, an underdog like South Africa was when it faced Mexico, is no doubt feeling better after playing to a scoreless draw with France.The French looked mostly listless and played with little togetherness, and one of its best players, Florent Malouda, came on late as a sub. Franck Ribery, the dynamic left winger who stars for Bayern Munich, started off creating chances down the flank — including one that Sidney Govou missed right in front of the goal. Then he was absent for most of the rest of the match. What was clear was how much France misses Zinedine Zidane as a playmaker in the middle. France will have to get it together soon. Its next match is with Mexico — and if there is a loser in that match, it could be on the verge of elimination.

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By seeoats, April 8, 2010 7:22 pm

The reputation of English football took a Cristiano Ronaldo-like dive in the latest round of Champions League matchups as both remaining clubs were eliminated from the competition. Barcelona’s Lionel Messi renewed his claim as the best footballer in the world by scoring 4 goals and knocking out London club Arsenal. German side Bayern Munich advanced at Manchester United thanks to another spectacular score by Dutchman Arjen Robben, despite trailing 3-0 early in the match. Lyon won the right to play Bayern setting up the most interesting France v Germany rematch since May 1940. Inter Milan advanced to the joy of their elated and fashionable fans. Semi-final fixtures take place April 20-21 with return legs the 27-28 before the May 22 finale.

Editor’s Note: The video you sent the linked to was removed before I could see it but I found a clip of Robben’s shot…

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By seeoats, February 24, 2010 7:05 pm

As the NFL offseason wallows in the ugly business side of sport, real life competition continued across Europe as the world’s most exclusive club tournament wrapped up the first leg of the round of 16 competition on Wednesday. Highlights included manager Jose Mourinho’s Inter Milan team defeating his former Chelsea squad in Italy by a 2-1 margin. First fixture surprises were provided by Portuguese side FC Porto’s 2-1 victory over Arsenal and Manchester United’s 3 valuable away goals at AC Milan. Man U had never scored at the San Siro in 4 matches, although 1 goal came off Darren Scholes’ laughable swing and miss.

Besides Man U, France’s Bordeux was the only other away side winner, setting themselves up for the next round if they can draw or win at home in the 2nd leg. Several remaining matches could be decided on the tournament’s intriguing ‘away goals’ tiebreaker rule, which entices and rewards the visiting side for aggressive play. All visitors with the exception of Spain’s Real Madrid scored an important road goal.

The return legs of the competition will be played on March 09-10 and 16-17. Adopt a team (not Chelsea, don’t be that guy) and catch a game, it’s not a bad way to spend the lunch hour, especially if you’re lucky enough to catch a visiting European hottie supporting her team.

(Sorry about the picture of the hot Italy fan, I couldn’t find a girl in club team’s gear. Post one in the comment section if you find a good one I won’t mind. – JO)

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By seeoats, February 8, 2010 10:14 am

Chelsea defender John Terry has been relieved of captain duties for the English national team due to the minor locker room infraction of screwing teammate Wayne Bridge’s baby momma. Terry even managed to put one through the net that resulted in him accompanying the young lady to a outpatient medical procedure. In Terry’s defense, it’s rumored that Vanessa Perroncel has been linked to at least 5 Chelsea players. Now that’s how you back a club.

Terry will be replaced by Man U central back Rio Ferdinand, although it’s uncertain how much higher morale ground is gained. Ferdinand missed the Euro 2004 tourney during an 8 month suspension for skipping a drug test (what’s the penalty for a positive test?) He’s fresh off a 3 month injury hiatus and has played in only 4 of England’s last 12 matches.

Here’s hoping that it might be just enough distraction to lead to a draw (loss?) with Team America on June 12.

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By Swasted, August 8, 2009 4:55 pm

Ambrose won today’s Nationwide race at Watkins Glen and now he’s the favorite for tomorrow’s Sprint Cup race…

Marcos Ambrose 3-1
Tony Stewart 4-1
Jimmie Johnson 5-1
Juan Montoya 7-1
Kurt Busch 8-1
Kyle Busch 8-1
Denny Hamlin 12-1
Jeff Gordon 15-1
Kasey Kahne 20-1
Robby Gordon 25-1
Kevin Harvick 25-1
Carl Edwards 25-1
Ryan Newman 40-1
Mark Martin 40-1
Ron Fellows 50-1
Jamie McMurray 50-1
Greg Biffle 50-1
A.J. Allmendinger 75-1
Patrick Carpentier 75-1
Martin Truex Jr. 75-1
Sam Hornish, Jr. 75-1
Dale Earnhardt Jr. 75-1
Elliott Sadler 100-1
Scott Speed 100-1
Max Papis 100-1
Matt Kenseth 100-1

Full Odds

Russian Soccer Fans Urged To Drink Whisky To Ward Off Swine Flu

MOSCOW (Reuters) – Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whisky on their trip to Wales for next month’s World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country’s supporter association (VOB) said Monday.

“We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisky as a form of disinfection,” VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.

“That should cure all symptoms of the disease.”

Full Story

Swasted.com Travels To Portland

Swasted.com will follow up last week’s trip to S.F. and head up to Portland next week. You can look forward to Dew Tour event and nightlife coverage. Going to try and catch the Beavers taking on the Omaha Royals on Friday or Saturday night.