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By Steve, December 30, 2009 11:48 am

This wasn’t how you were hoping to spend your time at the security gate. You wanted a flight, not a prostate exam. Fortunately, TSA won’t have to grope you—at least, not yet. But they will have to look at you, including the private bits. Here’s the deal…
You won’t have to show them to the people standing next to you. But you’ll have to show them to the Transportation Security Administration. You’ll stand in front of a machine that sees through your clothes. It will capture every contour of your body and relay this picture to a screen in a nearby room. In that room, somebody who works for TSA will study the picture, including your gonads. They’ll study your gonads because that’s where bombers hide bombs. Go take a look at the ABC News photo of the
underwear of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the alleged Detroit bomber. Look where the packet of explosive powder was sewn: right into the crotch. You don’t need advanced training in Yemen to figure out why it was put there: because it’s the last place TSA wants to look. Well, almost the last place. Four months ago, another al-Qaida agent smuggled the same powder into a Saudi palace and tried to blow up the Saudi chief of counterterrorism. Saudi investigators think the bomber in that incident, like the Detroit bomber, hid the powder in his underwear. CBS News tells a different story: The Saudi bomber hid the powder in his rectum. Which theory is correct? It’s hard to know, since the Saudi bomber, his underwear, and his rectum ended up all over the room.

You get the picture: Bombers hide bombs where we’re least likely to probe them: under the breasts, behind the scrotum, up the bum. So that’s where we have to look.